Hello Again

I haven’t written in a while, a LONG while. It’s not because everything has been wonderful, or that I haven’t had any things to process or struggles that I've faced. I’d tell you that the need to process everything became less and less of a need as I continued to journal (close to) every night …

Self Check-In: Current Status – Not Great

Saying it has been a hard week would be an understatement, it's been a harder week with even worse moments. Moments when I knew things would be better with out me, or at the very least Kevin would. Moments that I planned out where I would go and stay when I left. Moments I figured …

A Letter From Future Me.

I started this one back in October 2017, it stat in my drafts folder until now... We were about 45 minutes into group. We had joked around and caught up before check in, we checked in and we had started sharing what was going on. I had shared. I had gotten feedback, support and praise. …

Teenage Pep Talks

In high school I can remember a mutual friend telling me how he didn’t feel like it was worth living any more, how he was just ready to die. Without missing a beat, I remember doing everything I could to convince him otherwise. My recount of the occurrence is well documented somewhere on the internet, …

“I don’t care if you are living for tacos, I just want you to live.”

At some point, I would like to think that I am enough reason to live. Not that the reason to stay alive is because it will cause Kevin too much pain, or because of what it might do to my family and friends. I'd like to think I'm worth them caring about and I'd like …

Medication Management pt. 2

In February I started a new job. It was a fresh new start in a role I had not held before at a company I didn't even know existed. There were no dragons to fear going into work, no one micro managing my schedule, I even had my own office. But the change was more …

bullies

I was listening to a podcast this morning about how to handle workplace bullying, it was next in my queue of HR podcast that I listen to on my way to work - you know, to set the mood. The broadcast hit closer to home than I realized it would, as I listened to Catherine …

Leaving the company I loved*

*I use the term "love" loosely here, mostly because it is easier than really enjoyed or liked working for. The passion I felt for the company doesn't come close to matching my continued loyalty to Lowe's or Wawa, but that may have just been because of the people I worked for. Out of college I …

Medication Management

The start of 2017 brought with it the darkest days I have ever experienced. The start of the New Year forced me to make choices I never wanted to make, it forced me to address issues that I had tabled for far too long. I had missed the message my body had been telling me …

Truth Serum

Without realizing it, I had started drifting into my own isolation long before my diagnoses of depression. I had most likely begun isolating myself long before any of this came to fruition. Back before my life was centered around Henry, in high school when I seemed to have strayed away. I had always thought of my …